Terlampau banyak sangat benda jadi. Terlampau banyak sangat benda kena fikir. Terlampau banyak sangat bertubi-tubi macam bazar ramadhan pukul 6 petang yang berkerumun cari juadah masing-masing.
But I'm amazingly happy and blessed for everything. Walaupun kadang-kadang ada rasa letih, rasa tak larat nak tempuh, kadang-kadang pasang playlist Russ sebab penat dengan realiti, but I made it. Masih menempuh hari-hari yang penuh panca roba dan kepura-puraan.
Muka banyak senyum.
Semenjak dua menjak jiwa yang rapuh ni pun rasa berseri-seri. Kadang-kadang emosi menghasut, tapi walaupun rapuh, jiwa ini kental. Masih teguh. Padahal.
Anxiety is a fatal thing. Impact kepala otak tubuh badan. Physically, emotionally. Tapi macam biasa, orang mana faham. Orang mana kisah sebab they just understand what you choose to show. Not what you actually need-- time and attention. Saddening. But that is not what I want to tell here. I wanna talk about him. Only him. A good friend of mine.
Macam Bil Musa cakap, berbual hingga larut malam, tiada malu tiada segan, diselimuti dengan keselesaan. This is what I feel whenever I'm with you then things happen.. Talk about anything, everything. Legit. No transparency between us because we are.. us. Lagi lagi bila kita karok our lungs out for 3 hours straight, layan somersby dua perisa sambil mengutuk masing-masing bodoh sebab masih cinta dengan si bajingan masing-masing. Especially when I know kau hidup sebatang kara. Perlukan sesiapa yang perlukan kau. But who cares? You know you have me. And.. I don't only have you-- one of the reason you left. Because we both know we couldn't break us. We both afraid even myself too scared to stay.
Masih tertanya-tanya. Bila semua kriteria dah menetapi cita rasa, tapi kenapa masih ada rasa tak kena dengan jiwa? Bila semua janji dah menetapi kata-kata, tapi kenapa masih ada rasa merana? Life is weird.
We can talk about anything but not about us.
Bawaku ke pantai, kosongkan kepala sambil bersantai. Mengira bintang dari pasir putih. Moment that I always imagine while you tuning in your guitar and sing jared leto's. There it goes.