I guess this is my last post this year. Next year cuba at least busuk busuk pun seminggu, or sebulan sekali untuk tulis apa yang patut. Salahkan masa-masa hidup yang harus ditempuhi.
So, since I tried my best to not express it through Twitter, or Instastory or any social medias what he had done... Let me express this now. Hashtag yang tahu je tahu. It started a year ago, a year and a month-- trust me when they say a girl remembers everything, she legit remembers every single details except where to eat.
Sehari sebelum.
"I really need to see you."
"Please forgive me for everything."
"If I had one chance I wouldn't do anything except for saying sorry."
"I regret."
"I've made a bad move."
"Do you still want me?"
"Why him?"
... And cut. Others are still bullshit.
You are saying sorry to make YOU, yourself feels better. For your own sake. Not because you are really sorry for your mistakes. For all your ego. And for all shits you've thrown at me. You never sorry. You just wanted to feel better for yourself before the wedding, because you know you're wrong. You're afraid it hits you back. Then good. It will hit you. Sooner or later.
Still. Once a jerk, always a jerk.
I'm being mean? Try to feel what I felt, you won't survive. No one would survive if they have to go through what I've been through. So, kepada wanita yang sangat malang, goodluck. Goodluck in knowing how terrified to live with a jerk, goodluck in knowing he slept with other girl while you're take care of his mum in the hospital, goodluck in knowing you help with his business using all your connections and contacts to make him out in the newspaper but end up he didn't even giving A PIECE of credit to you, goodluck in always find out and feels scared when he goes out without you, and ofcourse, goodluck in feeling he slept with your own best friend. Tak sanggup nak listkan semua tu walaupun manusia kan power ingat kesalahan orang lain.
And ofcourse, goodluck to be with someone who came, apologize and confessed he's not ready to be with you and he has made a bad move to marry. Goodluck to be with someone who confessed he's being with you just trynna move on from me a year ago.
Good luck.
Good luck.
But I guess, who needs luck? Because karma will do the job.
"He'll change." Then good. Still, goodluck in changing. Aku bukan Tuhan nak menghukum manusia lain, tapi aku yakin, doa orang teraniaya pasti akan dimakbulkan. Itu janji Dia. dan Dia akan menepati janji-- ada dalam doa selepas azan. 5 kali sehari Dia janji,
Ya Allah, Wahai Tuhan yang telah mensyariatkan seruan azan dan sembahyang yang akan didirikan. Kurniakanlah kedudukan yang tinggi dan terpuji yang engkau telah janjikan kepada junjungan kami Nabi Muhammad dan kehormatan, sesungguhnya Engkau tidak memungkiri janji.
Sooner or later. Good luck.