Going to change this blog url because people keep disappointing me. Especially the ones that I trust the most. Its not easy for someone like me to let everything inside me spilling out on you but siallah semua mengecewakan gila bapak.
Selalu berpegang dengan "treat people like how you want to be treated". Bullshit. Not everyone has the same heart as we do. Pada zaman teknologi yang serba mudah, serba canggih ni cuma nak taknak je hendak seribu daya tak hendak seribu dalih. And again, they choose to put the blame on me.
Kecewa.
If you think I posted every single thing on my social media, you are fucking wrong. You definitely do not know anything. Letih la kena rasa kecewa dekat orang yang paling percaya, percaya yang dia tak akan buat kita sedih, tak akan kecewakan kita, tak akan buat kita terasa sikit pun sebab dia tahu how it feels and dia tahu how I fucking feel but they still choose to do it. Like how? How can you make someone that put a lot of effort, someone who gives her all tapi end up you know you've hurt her but you just don't give a damn about it. You let your fucking egos control.
Entah ah, when I let you be a part of me, when I let you to read this blog as I'm not giving this url untuk calang-calang orang, I expect you to care. I expect you to understand semua benda yang aku pernah tempuh, pernah lalui, because I fucking did. I'm just disappointed. Sangat sangat sangat terlampau kecewa dengan semua orang. Each one of you.
Semua ingat nisa okay. Nisa cool. Nisa tak pernah terasa sebab tak pernah tunjuk. Nisa always make time. Yes. Tapi sumpah letih, penat, tak larat langsung dah nak hadap sebab at the end semua orang tak kira lah siapa pun akan disappoint me in every way they could and do nothing about it. At all.
I'm just going to let everything happen like it is now. Salah sendiri kot berharap sangat dekat orang orang yang ada susah senang, kononnya ada bila perlu, kononnya tak akan kecewakan kita sebab that trust tu macam besar gila walaupun dah dihancurkan berkali kali but I survived.
I survived.
Ditipu, dikecewakan, disakitkan terlampau banyak kali tapi masih bagi peluang. Masih okay sebab faham sangat setiap daripada manusia manusia bajingan, ada setiap kisah yang kita tak pernah tahu apa yang jadi tapi fuck that because they don't try to understand that in me.
And ofcourse, I don't have someone in particular. Scandal nor boyfriend nor crush. Yang sebelum-sebelum ni telahpun menyakiti hati ini dah 0-0 habis dah, langsung malas fikir. Malas dan penat dengan tipu daya pengkhianat dunia.